dead point

Hi, Today I got really no mood.

I feel so sad,lonely and stupid.

I feel such like I stuck in some dead point.

No, That I feel bad because something going wrong.

I feel so happy and everything is OK.

But I start think so bad about myself. I got some

family problems. I really start hate this place (this house).

Everyone here make me feel bad except Mom.

I feel sometimes that I'm such like don Quixote

and I fighting with windmills. Those windmills 

are every bad things. I really start lose faith for everything. 
 I have enough people around me which think how They think. Person which

start or try undermine my life choices really is useless.

Many people tell me, go out, meet people, go meet with friends,

make some girly stuff, study hard make me really so dumb.

What I can say ?! I don't have anybody to go out with me?

I should be like a " forever alone" go out by myself and what I will do ?

Nothing ? thanks. I know that I should study about august exams

and I will start you don't need tell me that i should do it because

I know it. I dont know but somehow I feel some reluctance

and laziness to do those things, maybe it's some kind of depression ?

or I'm sick ? I really don't know and really don't care.

That's all really. Even Bonbon started make me so crazy.

She start eat my carpet under bed, wallpapers and paper under her cage

for She don't make a mess in my room when She jump out. O.o

It's little cute EVIL ! :P Anyway I don't feel "normal"

I wanted thanks my honey and 2 friends which can understand

what I feel Ala and Matsu (Ola). :)

That's all, sorry for not so happy and sad note.

You don't have to read it. I just wrote it for myself.

Maybe by this I will feel better.

"It's like the world is closing around us and we're doing just fine
(we're doing just fine baby)
Even if it pulls us apart cuz we'll still be alright
(we'll still be alright)
I know we'll be together after two worlds collide.
No matter how far we are from each other,
there's no distance from you and I."

Quote for today

"Love does not begin and end the way 

we seem to think it does. 

Love is a battle, 

love is a war,

love is a growing up. "